My Pursuit of Happiness

                               Some might say I should not post about my mental illness on social media.  In fact, I have had people mention it.  The thing is I am not posting for attention or pity, or to reach out, but to educate and strike up a conversation.  I have a friend that planted a seed in my head about talking about my bipolar and depression and how I deal with it on a daily basis.  I just started posting Facebook Live videos on my personal page.  But, I might switch the security settings to public....I don't know....Please leave a comment on what you think.             Right now I am still in the midst of my depression and still undergoing treatment.  I have been dealing with Bipolar and Bipolar Depression for the last 9 years and have b...

   It has been a long while since I have posted anything on this blog.  The reason for this is I had begun to lose touch of who I really was for I was trying to please people and not myself.  In order to reconstruct the image I want for my eyes only (and eventually for others) I had to hit rock bottom (which I did).  I have a secret that I have been hiding from others my whole adult life.  I have Bipolar Type 1 Disorder.        Since the end of April I had been taking on a lot of projects at work, not only my own department but other departments.  When summer came, the pace of my work increased.  My co-workers noticed and decided to add more to my plate.  I did not stop them.  In fact, part of me craved that fast life.  On top of that I would be exercising by hiking/running 8 miles when ever I can without feeling tired.  After working a 9 hour day I would come home to talk i...

               This past week has been, let's just say, extremely intense.  The highest level of intense that would make anyone, especially a highly sensitive introvert, lose their mind in the height of a panic attack  and call her former boss to beg for her old job back.  This week was over flowing with crying, anger, lack of sleep, and very vivid nightmares.  The panic attacks were so paralyzing.  I couldn't breathe, everything was too close, I, mentally and physically, couldn't find an escape route out of this fearful place that I have found myself more times than I wanted.  The nightmares were basically the same thing, which was an abstract perception of feeling trapped.      As I had briefly mentioned in my 3rd post of the year, The Person The Left Behind , my mom bodily functions are progressively deteriorating due to her Multiple System Atrophy .  Along with my ...