Beauty: A Creation of New Life in the Young and the Old

A Creation of New Life in the Young and the Old

What is beauty and where does it come from?  Beauty comes from within. You experience pain and anguish to become the kind of perfect you think beauty is. All of this to find yourself broken, hurt, and lost.....a side you wished never to revisit but who has been tormenting and pushing you from the very beginning to reveal the raw beauty that is beneath this fragile, sensitive, innocent little flower. Beauty is pain....Beauty is passion....Beauty is perfection.....Beauty is about letting go of what has been holding you back.....

I believe that every person has multiple parts of their being that reveal itself a little at a time as the years go by.  Some parts might frighten oneself and could set that person into a state of denial for he or she is in disbelief of the ability and voice one possesses.  If you are a timid and fragile perfectionist, like myself, you strive to satisfy the expectations of those around you, who work with you, or you work for, or even your family and "friends".  Are you truly happy?  You might have this feeling of hurt, neglect, loss, waiting for approval from others that never comes.  If you are not happy from trying to satisfy others instead of what you believe in your "alter ego" starts to show in certain ways, such as what you might say, how you might say it, how you act, etc....  All of a sudden there is this battle, that might appear never ending, going on inside of you trying to push the true you towards the light, up to the surface of the ocean blue from the deep dark abyss.....trying to tell you to let go of what is expected, let go of conformity.....spread your wings and take flight.....flying towards something true, something beautiful and full of life!

This past Thursday was my 29th birthday.  From the first day of 2012 I have been doing a "countdown" to that special day.  Some people probably thought of me as some weird person.  Well, I am of my own species.  I would come back and tell people who would comment on me being so excited about being "one year older" with, "I want to be that 92 year old lady that still thinks everyday is a new, fresh, and exciting day no matter how old in years I get! I will forever be young at heart!!!!!"  This is quite true!  I don't want the harshness and cruelty of this society, this world and the people in it, to make me shrivel up into a burned-out, bitter old woman who is just waiting to die or wants to inflict the same "torment" that was inflicted on me throughout my life.  I want to rise above the ashes as a survivor of the judgement that has been set up in this world by those who occupy every part of what makes up this society we supposedly "live" in. 

I had made a statement on my "birthday countdown" with "Two more days until I'm 29 years "young". But right now I feel 92 years old especially around the eyes.....Dark circles and bags.....Hey! Does old age mean you get more respect from the young folk or is that some kind of lie our grandparents would always tell us to "Respect your elders"?" One of my friends came back and said, "Telling people to 'Respect your elders' is like 'Eat your vegetables' or 'Back up your files'. It doesn't happen, even if you tell them.  But eating vegetables and doing backups are good for you, while respecting (meaning trusting elders) is not always such a good idea. Look around you."  I returned by saying, "For generations the people we trusted and/or who raised us say one thing but do the opposite. It's like for the first 18 years of our life we are expected to say please and thank you, write thank you notes when we receive a gift, hold the door open for the person in back of you, etc.....but then we witness people who are suppose to be mature, polite, "respectable" adults do the complete opposite....No wonder the younger generation is going to suffer because of how the older generations seem to talk with a "fork tongue"....Unless a few of us become the change, actually practice what is suppose to be the proper thing and bring morality, politeness, courtesy, and Emily Post back from the dead! Live By Example and people will follow!"  You know what?  It has happened.  I have on my "Wall of Fame" (my refrigerator) a thank you letter from two of my students thanking me for their Christmas gifts.  There is hope and it all begins with the simple act of kindness, respect, courtesy, and politeness.  The strategy is to not just lecture on what is proper but by living out our lecture in our day to day living!  RISE ABOVE THE ASHES OF CONFORMITY because what people say as "that's the way it is" DOES NOT have to stay that way! 

I might be writing things that are suppose to be inspirational and positive, which is meant not just for others but when I get into a funk I need it as a reminder to "pull up my bootstraps" and to charge forward.  This past week has been especially difficult both physically and emotionally.  I wrote down a statement that was not meant to be negative but more of a prayer for encouragement to look upwards.  This is what I  wrote: "Passion, hopes, and dreams are the fruit of life.....Without it the fire burning within one's soul will dwindle to a poof of smoke.....Nothing....I fight for what I feel inside of me trying to keep that fire burning strong....Then I drop to my knees as if the marrow has been sucked out of my life.....Please, dear Lord, give me the strength to face those people who put doubt and shame in my head so I may continue to show them that I, too, am Your greatest gift ♥

I'm going to write down an inspirational quote that was in my birthday card from my parents:
A Little Guide of Life
"Be good to yourself. 
There are some things everyone deserves - Love, respect, time to recharge. 
Never settle for less.
Seek out your dreams. 
Start small.  Take it as it comes.
Even a butterfly has to inch along
before getting its wings. 
Listen to you heart.
Trust your gut. 
If the way seems unclear,
look within you. 
Let your voice be heard. 
You have a story to tell and opinions that count,
And a difference to make. 
Stay curious, wonder. 
Take every opportunity to learn. 
Knowledge is a gift. 
It will take you places. 
Hold on to what's important. 
Let worries go. 
No matter how you look at it,
some things just don't make sense. 
The way you choose to carry on is what really matters. 
And when you make that list of what you want in life,
make another list of what you've got. 
Be sure to start with all the things that make you a beautiful person. 
There are so many. 
Most of all, remember you're loved always!"


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