My Pursuit of Happiness

      As you can see from the title, I need help.  It all started the day before school started.  I developed a fever of about 100.5 and my skin felt like it was going to fall off leaving my body raw and inflamed.  I went to an urgent care center where the doctors tested me for COVID, the flu, and a respiratory illness.  They all came back negative.  So, what is causing the fever and the aching skin?  There is only one other explanation: anxiety.  Yup!  In rare cases where anxiety can raise the body temperature.  But on top of all that, my digestive track was not good for over a week and I was not sleeping.  I’m still not sleeping.  I don’t know if my doctor can prescribe I sleep aide or something.       But anyway with all this anxiety and fear and feeling lethargic I needed to take a break from everything.   I withdrew from college life.  My mental health is more important.  My therapist said to wake up each morning with a purpose.  I enjoy reading (I’ve started a new read-a-thon), a

      As school is approaching, I am feeling a little apprehensive.  A little?  Try a lot.  I haven’t been in school in over 17 years when I finished my first bachelor’s in music education.  Back then I wasn’t happy with the degree I received.  I had no choices and no interests.  I remember I had a conversation with my mom.  She kind of knew that I wasn’t happy.  This was in my sophomore year.  She mentioned about me changing majors.  I was like, to what?  At that point I had done music for over ten years.  For what interested me was  to get out of school safely and quickly.  The only experience I had, besides music competitions, was working in retail.  I wasn’t happy but it was something to fall back on.       Back in 2009, I did apply to a graduate program at a local university.  But at that time I was developing a sickness that eventually got me kicked out of school.  I was told to get help and not to go back to class.  I’ve been in therapy for five years developing techniques to ha