The Face of Depression


     I stand before the cliff I jump beginning to make my last plans.  The pain is so great that no one can see or feel.  “Help me, kind sir!”  For I’m willing to take this illness public for someone to take notice.  I am not bluffing.  Down to the deep depths of depravity I fall.  Down to the dark abyss where no sunshine has ever dawned in a thousand years.  I’m still falling.  Standing in front of a jury that once were my peers.  I have sinned but not have been saved.

    Falling into the deep bowels of Hell succumbed by evil.  The hissing, venomous, biting snakes swirling around the flaming inferno.  Here I am lost and lifeless.  Unable to start again.  My body sprawled out on a tree pinned three times two in the hands once in the feet.  My smile was forcibly spread wide pulling the skin from side to side.  Then I hung there.  Publicly hung there for the world and beyond to stare and throw boulders at.  “Here once stood the evil of all evils. Who chose death over life”.

    But the problem was, I had no reason to live.  I had no friends, no family, and everything I did was a failure.  Nobody said to keep on going.  I’m just a weak specimen of a human.   “A tub of trouble”, as everyone would say.  “Oh, here she comes.  We better hide or she’ll say we inviting her out to lunch”. I mean, no one was ever nice to me.  I’m just a tub of trouble trying to brush off my problems onto someone else.  So, I’m actually doing society a favor.  I mean, who will come to my funeral when I am dead, when all else is said?

    Here I am, on full view for all to see for eternity.  Some bloody mess in hopes to make amends with myself, If that is allowable .  For I’m going to be here forever.  I’ll have to send out change of address cards because I am going to be stuck in Hell along with Dante and the gang.  But, there’s the lighttttttttt….

    Something stirred me. I am shaken awake.  My eyes are open in a flash.  I’m in my own bed.  My bed clothes are soaked from the sweaty mess that I came from.  Am I here?  Am I really home?

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