Hi. My name is Robin-Louise. I am a 34 year old that has been on a journey for contentment all my life. In these blog posts I will be documenting every strife and achievement in my pursuit of happiness for this upcoming year and beyond. I hope to bring you along. Please, feel free to leave any comments at the end of these posts.
Hello. My Name Is Robin-Louise
Me pondering with my wild and curly hair.
Me enjoying my nature aka my church.
Me as a happy and goofy kid.
My "twin" and me aka my Daddy.
Me with my other "twin" aka my Mommie.
From newborn to college graduate......
I know. It has been a long while since I've ever posted a blog.....a really long while. A lot has happened in the last 3 years.....well even further than that.....but I'm not all that comfortable posting as of yet. Right now isn't really about what has happened in the past but what is happening right NOW in the present. It is January 1st, New Year's Day and a chance for new beginnings and improving our lives for the better. We set these goals and challenges every year about getting a better job, making more money, travel, weight loss. My goal for this year is to get to know me....the real me
All my life I've been around people who have tried to change my physical appearance (such as straighten my curly hair or told me I should wear pants instead of skirts or dresses) or tried changing my personality. Yeah that's right, my personality. I am considered too nice and too quiet. When ever I've attempted to pursue a position, whether it be teaching or be a customer service supervisor, people have always told me that I couldn't make it because I'm not tough enough or they would simply ignore my requests for the position. So, what did I do? Over the years I've changed into what I thought they wanted and lost sight of who I am.
In order to repair the change that has been made to my person I need to reintroduce myself to me by spending this year (365 days) and get to know me. I want to get to know what makes me smile, laugh, think, and everything that makes me ME in the pursuit of my happiness and serenity....So for the next year I'll be documenting every reflection (good or bad) on this journey at least once a week.....And I would like to take you along with me because I can't do this alone. Starting right now I am rebuilding the reprise role of the original Robin-Louise who ever she may be.
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It has been a long while since I have posted anything on this blog. The reason for this is I had begun to lose touch of who I really was for I was trying to please people and not myself. In order to reconstruct the image I want for my eyes only (and eventually for others) I had to hit rock bottom (which I did). I have a secret that I have been hiding from others my whole adult life. I have Bipolar Type 1 Disorder.
Since the end of April I had been taking on a lot of projects at work, not only my own department but other departments. When summer came, the pace of my work increased. My co-workers noticed and decided to add more to my plate. I did not stop them. In fact, part of me craved that fast life. On top of that I would be exercising by hiking/running 8 miles when ever I can without feeling tired. After working a 9 hour day I would come home to talk incessantly for 3 more hours on several different topics. My risky behaviors didn't get out of control, suc…
It was Friday January 20th. I was on my lunch break at work just casually scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook and enjoying a nice sandwich. I noticed a live feed of the Presidential Inauguration from Fox News. Number 44 (President Obama) and Vice President Biden were walking towards the double doors to the West Front of the U.S. Capital building. They were respectfully saluted by a couple of soldiers. The doors opened and they proceeded to walk down the stairs to join the former living presidents and their spouses. President Obama, being kind as he is, welcomed the new first family. Then trumpets and drums sounded their fanfare for all to hear. Someone very important is about to be introduced for the first time to the American people. At those same double doors that President Obama and Vice President Biden exited, this tall man with a bronzed face, squinted eyes, and pursed lips was being escorted down the stairs to be sworn in as the 45th President of the Unite…
Yesterday was the first time, in a long time, that I was able to take the moment and enjoy the beauty that surrounds me. It was the first time that I was able to isolate the sounds in my head and the cacophony that creates our world, that we find ourselves consumed in on a daily basis, and separate them from the sounds of silence. I found myself in a bird sanctuary/wildlife refuge. At that time of day I was the only person there. I walked through the wooded secluded areas watching a couple of deer frolicking in the distance. I had sojourned at a wooden foot bridge overlaying a frozen pond. My eyes were closed due to the brightness of the sun hitting the white snow. But I just wanted to feel the warmth of the sun against my back. I focused my whole attention to that comforting sensation and feeling so elated that I had finally taken myself out of my head, away from that critical voice telling me what I should and should not do. I continued to use my senses. What did I feel…